From my perspective as the writer, I think top 10 lists are kinda fun and I get a lot of good laughs while I'm doing the research. A couple of weeks ago I did a top 10 list of weird, strange and downright stupid exercise equipment. This week I thought I would do a list of the 10 most useless, potentially hazardous and unsanitary infomercial or As Seen On Tv products. So without further ado let's get into it. Drumroll, please.
#10 The Potty Putter
Cause who doesn't want to play golf while pooping. Now when you say your golf game is in the crapper it REALLY IS in the crapper. It even comes with a do not disturb sign. If you think men spend too much time in the bathroom wait until purchase this piece of S*!^ for us.
#9 URO Club
Sticking with the bodily functions and Golf I present the URO Club. Peeing into a golf club. I don't even know where, to begin with, this one. Too many jokes, my head is going to explode. Just watch the clip, it's worth it.
#8 Long Reach Comfort Wipe
What could possibly go wrong? It certainly doesn't look like it wipes very well nor does it look comfortable or sanitary. Wait just a gosh darn minute, is that the club from the Potty Putter, well that's just genius.
#7 Neck Magic Air Cushion
Doesn't this make you think of those old National Geographic pictures of the women with the neck rings and elongated necks? Can you picture it? Well if that's your idea of comfort here is the Neck Air Magic. Just wrap it around your throat and increase the pressure. It will cut off your blood supply, air supply and separate your head from your shoulders all at once. WOW what a bargain.
#6 Neck Line Slimmer
This one didn't quite make my exercise list but it was close. Just stick this baby under your chin, nod yes half a million times and you too can have a slimmer more beautiful neckline. You may need the Neck Air Magic when you're done though. I wonder if photoshop had anything to do with the before and after shots. Apparently, the Neck Line Slimmer also works on face fat as well. Look at how amazing those cheeks look. Somehow the nose even looks straighter.
#5 Dump Meals
I know when I think of quick, easy, delicious meals the word dump always comes to mind. How about you? When I think of dumping a meal the only thing that comes to mind is the Squatty Potty. I wonder if these meals are supposed to be served in a porcelain bowl. Mmm Mmm Good.
#4 Citi Kitty
When your done with your golf game and letting your dump meal simmer your feline friend may have something simmering as well, so let's train them to use the toilet. Because cats always do what we want them too there is Citi Kitty. Take note parents of toddlers, we have been doing it wrong all these years. I know I didn't include any ENTICING Training Herbs when training my children. That may have made all the difference.
#3 The Better Marriage Blanket
If sleeping with your better half smells like sorrow and regret there is the Better Marriage Blanket. This Space Age fabric is the same material used by the military to protect against chemical weapons, and we all know someone who could be considered a chemical weapon. Use this in conjunction with the Under-Ease under pant's ( also designed to absorb farts ) and you have now taken all the fun out of sticking your better half's head under the blanket.
#2 Rejuvenique Mask
Is anyone else scared S*!^less right now? If flatulence doesn't ruin your marriage, coming home to find your better half looking like a serial killer probably will. For best results shock your face 15 minutes a day 3 to 4 times a week. Mass murderer in the making right there.
#1 Sauna Pants
Because what could feel better than a humid, sweaty, crotch? On the plus side, it's a virtually painless way to make sure you never have kids. But wait there's more!!! Men you never need to worry about shrinkage ever again. Order now and we'll send another one free, you just pay $110 shipping and handling.
Well, that's all folks. I hope you enjoyed and had a good laugh at this week's vids and list. As always I would appreciate it if you would sign up for my email list. FaceBooks new algorithm is going to make it very hard for pages like mine to be seen unless there is a lot of meaningful comments on the posts. The email list will never be used to send spam only updates, new products or discounts. Also if you have time please click on one of the banner ads around my site, you may see something you like.
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