This isn’t the blog I said I was going to write, but unfortunately this is the one you’re gonna get ha ha. I wanted to deep dive into Companies and how they try to play the socially conscious game and fail miserably. Everyone can see through their games, they just want to sell more product at someone’s expense so they lean towards the majority on issues.
Instead what you are going to get is part two of my crazy exercise equipment series. If you missed the first one you can find it here.
I ran out of research time this week, working 28 of the last 48 hours. I certainly didn’t want to leave you all hangin so we’ll talk about something else that burns my ass. Which is Companies that try to sell you exercise equipment that does nothing for you. You’d be just as well off walking and it would be cheaper. These companies love to pray on the uneducated or Fitness challenged if you will. So I, your knight in rusty armour, will come to your rescue and show you the things that will mystify and amaze and that you should never purchase. I got your back friends. In no particular order.
Body Blade - Do you really need this or can you just get into a squat position and shake a big stick. $94.67 but you can find them all over Ebay for sale cheap. I wonder why.
2. Leg Magic X - Does anyone actually believe she a famous tennis player maybe she is in Kyrgyzstan or something, I really don’t follow tennis, but I bet ya anything Venus and Serena never used this. $109.99 again cheap all over Ebay.
3.I Gallop - Yes you read that right. you too can sit in a chair make horse riding motions and get in shape. Are you frickin kidding me. Words can’t even, just watch. $175 up to $450. You see what I mean by companies taking advantage. If you buy this you deserve to go broke.
4.Lip and face Trainer - If you thought that last one was ridiculous wait until you see what they are trying to sell you next. No it’s not a sex toy, although, nevermind, just watch. It’s like a train wreck you can’t look away.
5.Circle Glide - Didn’t we have a toy like this when we were kids that you would sit down on and spin. At one point she talks about slowing down your heart rate. How in the Sam hell is this going to get your heart rate up to begin with. Hey this looks like a here hold my beer piece of equipment. I can think of several drinking games you might be able to play with this. Not that I’m condoning drinking games. $600 new Yup you guessed it, cheap on Ebay.
6. Slender Tone - Your personal body toner. Um yeah if you could quit making people believe they can spot reduce that would be great. Lets spend $130 ($4.62 Ebay) to shock our abs into shape. Lets not eat right and exercise which will actually get you abs lets just throw away our money on a dream. The only thing that will get slender is your wallet.
7. Last but not least for this go round is the, and yes I saved the best for last, Prancercise - Check out the pants on Joanna, then let her Prance her way into your heart. I have no doubt some idiot actually bought her book “Prancercise the art of physical and spiritual excellence” but wait there’s a video too. Here’s the commercial for that too. you get a twofer on this one. This is far too good to give just one. I’m a giving kinda guy, sharing is caring right. Would you believe you can get a certification with this. Oh boy where do I sign up. I’m crying here. Watch.
Alright friends it’s late Tuesday night and that’s about all I have time for so that’s a wrap for this week. I hope you found this somewhat informational, as in never, nerve, never purchase crazy shit like this. I also hope you found it funny, I know not everyone shares my sense of humor. Please don’t be shy about asking questions or making comments. Let me know what topics you would like discussed or how I could make this blog and my Facebook Page Dropping The F Bomb more suited to your needs. If you missed last weeks blog on The Skinny On Carbs you can find it here. Stay healthy #fitfam and see you next week. Joke of the week,
A man walks into a bar with a set of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender looks at him and says “I’m gonna let you in here this time, but don’t start anything!”
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